Putting My Husband & I Last….Losing Touch…….

As we get caught up in our daily lives sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and sometimes the ones that matter most! This is what I have learned about myself…….I have found myself wrapped up taking care of everyone else that I have neglected myself and my husband. My husband made a comment a few months back about me always worrying and taking care of everyone else before him…..after some deep searching and taking account of my daily actions I discovered he was partially right…..I had indeed been putting him last, sometimes even behind the animals and I discovered this to be true of taking care myself as well!!

Don’t get me wrong, we are both taken care of but I have learned to put the needs of others before myself and before my husband who has been there when others were not!!! I have also realized this to be true of my husband and putting others before me.

My Husband: I have come to realize that I have neglected the needs of my husband so that he feels that I put him last instead of right next to me and it has progressed over time. I have indeed put others before him when I should of been there for him more. Again, we tend to get wrapped up in everyday life and forget to take extra time for ourselves and partner. I do not take the time to do the things I use to…….little things to show how much I love him, respect him and am grateful to have him in my life like I use to.

Myself: I have come to the conclusion that over the past 21 years of raising children, being mom, being a friend to many and most importantly being a wife/spouse/partner/friend to my husband that I have neglected myself. I have forgotten how to be as happy, carefree, less stressed, fun to be with, spunky and have forgotten how to be myself and not care what anyone thinks!!! I have somehow lost a piece of myself!!!! This has nothing to do with anyone else but me, I am accountable for letting this happen!!

As a mother I have worried and been raising the boys for 20 years. I have been consumed with their well being and that they grow up to be great young men and that they have what they need. I make sure their clothes are washed, check on homework, talk to teachers, there for sporting events and concerts. I have even been making sure that other kids are taken care of, some have stayed with us and others have just hung out a lot.

I have let it consume me…..yes, I need to be nurturing, caring & make sure they are taken care of but in the end it will be my husband and I……we only have 2 1/2 more years and our youngest graduates and heads into the military!! It is now time for me to get back to putting “US” first as the boys are not babies anymore!!! They think for themselves, they do their own things and they aren’t around all the time anymore and the other times we don’t see them much!! They are 20, 18 & 16…..practically grown young men!! Now my job should be to be here to guide them, still make sure they are taken care of but I need to start working on “my husband and I first” like it use to be even after they were born.

What I’m trying to get across is that it’s so easy to get consumed in our everyday lives that we need to take time and remember ourselves and our spouse/significant other throughout our togetherness!! You may still feel in love and that things are good but are you taking time to tell yourself good job or your spouse? Do not take lightly as you may find yourself drifting away, bitter, angry, unhappy, not knowing what to do with yourself or who you are anymore…..you may end up realizing that you and your spouse have friction between you despite how happy you both seem on the outside, you may feel as though you are slowly drifting apart!!! STOP IT it’s never to late to start being positive and making changes to take care of yourself & spouse better and to bring yourselves closer!!!

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