Loved ones are an easy and safe target……

Do you push your loved ones, your family and good friends away? I bet you do this more than you realize. We tend to do this without meaning to, without meaning to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Sometimes, we push away the ones we are close to, our loved ones because they are safe. They are safe because it seems that no matter what we say or do they are always there for us. They are always trying to cheer us up, they are understanding and most of all they love us unconditionally and in the end forgive us no matter what.

Other times, we push away the ones we love because of what we say and/or do that brings them to their breaking point. Our loved ones may eventually take our actions personally, they have put up with it far too long or other times it is just a bad combination and things are said by both parties that hurt and pushes the other away.

The majority of the time we do not realize what we are doing or what we may have done. Sometimes, it is as simple as being grumpy with one person, being negative or the looks we give them just because we are in a bad mood or stressed and they are safe to be an ass too. Yet, at the same time we will act like normal with others. We do not want others to know that we are stressed or upset but yet our safe loved ones are an easy target, they are the ones by our side.

Sometimes we have had a bad day, we are stressed, we are just grumpy and we take our frustrations out on our loved ones by instantly trying to pick a fight with them. Trying to get a rise out if our loved ones in hopes to make them mad and argue therefore somehow making ourselves feel better about being in the mood we are in. ( Many times this just happens because the loved one is there.)

Sometimes, we fly off the handle towards a loved one and say things that should not have been said. Sometimes we say very hurtful things wether true or not. Sometimes, when we take it out on our loved ones with what we say towards them may feel and sound as if it’s what they believe to be true so we take it personally. Sometimes in the heat of the moment either party says stuff to get back at the other to hurt them before we realize what we have said or how it will hurt our loved one.

Other times we take it out on the ones we love because we have no one else to vent to. Would your boss fire you if you flew off and yelled at him? Would an acquaintance take it personal and still want to be your friend even though they really don’t know you? I think not!! This is why we take it out on the ones we love, they are safe and should still be there for us in the end.

All too often we take our loved ones for granted. We take for granted that they will always be there for us. What if they can’t take it anymore or worse, what if something happens to them before we can make things right and they are gone forever?

In life we are ALL guilty of pushing loved ones away. Sometimes, more often than not. Some people never learn or realize what they are doing, what they are saying and how it hurts their loved ones. Sometimes they are always right and never wrong and think it is just their loved ones’s fault.

Sometimes we realize what we have done and/or what we are doing but do not know how to say “I’m sorry” or how to correct it and believe it’s too late, it’s done and over with so no need to let our loved ones know that we may have been wrong in what we said or did.

It is NEVER too late to try and reach out with any of our loved ones that we may have pushed away or have wronged in any way big or small. It is NOT a sign if weakness but a sign if bettering yourself. Even if you feel that you did not start the friction, did you contribute? Did you say things you shouldn’t have to hurt their feelings, did you feed off of their anger and add fuel to their fire that made things worse?

Even the little things that are said and done can add up and break a loved one down. A loved one may feel sad, confused, bitter, inadequate, unwanted, unappreciated, angry or even as though they shouldn’t even be around when in fact they are very needed, they are the strength that keeps us going, they are our motivation to do and be better. We just do not know how to let them know it in a positive way.

Try to pay attention a little more. Pay attention to your actions when you are in a bad mood, stressed, or when someone is taking their anger and frustrations out on you and you lash back. Is what you say or how you act really necessary? Is it your loved ones fault? Often, it is just a habit and comes natural without thinking and realizing what we are doing or saying.

If you try to become aware of why your loved ones stay away, why they ignore you or why they are being the way they are with you more often, you may learn how to recognize and minimize the hurt you may cause to loved ones. You may be able to prevent hurtful situations or quickly fix them. Or, you may be able to realize when your loved ones are just taking it out on you because you are there, you are safe and that they in fact need you and you should try not to take it personally and that they are blowing off some steam.

Remember, the only thing in life you can control is yourself and if you want your loved ones in your life try not to push them away and do not let them push you away over words!!!!

Robin Robinson

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